Do looks really matter in life? Do good looking people have an advantage?
Rana Ashish, Senior Programmer at Software Companies (2011-present)
I was talking to my sister (cousin), who is a teenager. I asked her preferences for her ideal boyfriend. She replied:
He should be tall.
And many more things about physique and looks. I smiled at her and told her one story which I am going to share with you guys.
My maternal aunt (Mausi) was one of the most beautiful ladies in the village. When she grew up to marriageable age, it became a difficult task to find a groom for her.
People around her wanted her to marry some handsome guy, so that it would be a perfect match. In this quest, many eligible bachelors got rejected.
But one day, luck hit their fortune and they found my maternal uncle for her. But there was one problem with him, he was unemployed and fully dependent on his dad’s salary.
But nobody cared much as he was really charming, handsome, and good looking.
She got married to him.
After one month of their wedding, she got diagnosed with diabetes. Since they were from a village, instead of taking her to a doctor they took her to a nearby Godman (Baba). That godman said, “She is not ill, but she is under the control of a ghost.” And she was denied any treatment from doctors.
Her health started deteriorating. They took her to the hospital where she was diagnosed with diabetes.
Her husband was abusive, he forced her to have a child. In that health condition she gave birth to a girl child. A girl child with an unemployed father became a bane for their family.
They stopped her treatment. She was forced to have another child after 2 years. Unfortunately (for them), it was again a girl.
Her good looking, charming husband abandoned her. With no treatment for diabetes, her health started deteriorating rapidly. After sometime, her kidney got damaged.
And when she died, her beauty was completely unrecognizable.
This is a true story which I told my sister. And I left the decision to her about choosing her future partner.
Now coming to the first part of the question,
Do looks really matter in life?
Yes, they do matter. It is a harsh truth to accept, but we haven’t come out of objectification of people (Be it male or female). You never see fat, ugly women in a lead role in the fashion industry.
They are not the face/ambassador of any product which companies sell in the market.
In fact, while choosing a partner, people always prefer good looking people instead of worthy ones.
Coming to second part of the question, do good looking people have an advantage?
Again my answer is yes, they do have an advantage in our patriarchal society. While choosing a partner for my maternal uncle, they chose someone who was good looking instead of her worth.
If you are not good looking, you will have to struggle for 10–15 years like Nawazuddin Siddiqui to prove your worth; that you are much better than the other actors in the industry.
The irony of our society, if you are not good looking then you will have to prove your worth.
Whenever you ask for partner preferences from those who have had a break up earlier, (because of bad choices) then mostly they will demand:
Who will stand with you.
Who will believe in you.
Funny and little sarcastic.
and many other features which are no where related to their physique.
Life is yours, so are the choices.